The 100th post

It's February 11th.

Post yang ke 100 dari gue.
Realize that about 6 days ago, mestinya anniversary yang ke-7. Still not completely done with the healing process, although it's almost done though.

Pas misa buat olivia kemaren, ada beberapa yang mungkin nyadar ada satu lagu indo, "pelangi kasih-Nya". Background tentang kenapa gue pilih lagu ini, waktu itu anak guru piano gue satu satunya meninggal di usia yang muda banget, sekitar beberapa taun di atas gue doang, dan kita murid muridnya nyanyi lagu ini buat dia pas pemakamannya dia.

Tadi pas barusan pulang dari komputer lab, terus rencananya mau nonton film ma temen temen gue, eh ternyata sold out, then mereka bakalan balik lagi ke party salah satu temen gue juga yang ternyata tuh ultahnya dia. I'm not into partying at all, barangkali yang baca gak ada yang nyadar tentang hal itu... And like dua temen gue ngomong.... ayo dong... ayo, elu hormatin deh yang ultah. Welll... kebetulan gue kenal ma yang ultah... so ok dateng deh and jelas pas dateng yang atun lakuin adalah berdiri gak ngapa ngapain. Really really self conscious.

Ada banyak sih temen... tapi tetep malu and self conscious! Met ultah... and then got into a good discussion. Can someone get clicked to everyone? Lucu sih, ya ampun, kita cowok ber 4-5 ngomongin tentang bisa gak sih kita almost clicked to every single person on earth? Me for the most part ya cuman listen and support beberapa good point here and there. Terus diajak dance ma temen gue... again, not my thing. But all in all... a good time though in the end since I stretch myself a bit, and somehow get fit and get a good time with friends yang biasanya cuman ketemu di gereja and say hi doang, tapi ngeliat mereka semua pada minum and just have a good time, laugh at funny things, and engage in a thoughtful discussion on "clicking" with someone... that is priceless.

Flashback pas pulang dari retret. One comments that stuck in my head was when salah satu dari yang ada di mobil ngomong gini, "It was relieving to hear from a father that partying and drinking is not a sin." Yeah... it is so true. To have a good time is not a sin at all. To drink excessively is. To get drunk is a mortal sin. And how about drinking in general? To drink just to get away from the reality is a no. To drink for having a good time with friends, that's totally fine. So, it's not about how much is too much, but it's about your own motivation.

One of a good friend of mine ask me one question the other day, "Don't you like being a single?" pertanyaan ini muncul gara gara gue sering cerita ke dia tentang cewek nih, hehehe... Have to step back for a while to digest that question. How is single? Am I really really that desperate to find a girl? And I answer, "hahaha.. single is fine. I do actually like being single. It's great!" There is that freedom to expand the friendship that we have everywhere. :)

Moving from the past. To now. Now. Carpe diem. Carpe is a command word, from the stem word, "carpo, carpere" to seize, to capture, 1st declension. Diem is in the form of accusative singular, from the word, "diei, diei", day, and 4th declension I believe. So, carpe diem literally means: Seize the day!

My state of heart and mind is still like in a roller coaster, don't know what's gonna happen next, but at the same time realizing that it's in the good hand. It is an adventure. My life. "Like a roller coaster, never know how low is "low" and how high is "high"."

Future. It is full of adventure. Excited and pretty hopeful about it.

In the end, this is my centennial post from this blog. Hope you enjoy this 100th post as well as you enjoy my first few posts! Keep on reading, and keep on sailing our life in the path toward the shore of infinity.

Atun