Today (8/28) is the feast day of St. Augustine (and yesterday was her mom's feast day, St. Monica).
St. Augustine and St. Monica were the first two saints that I was introduced through the catholic education class back when I was a little. The story of how his mom, St. Monica, prayed for over 20 years for St. Augustine conversion captivated my early longing to see the conversion of my own family. The story of who St. Augustine was, a womanizer, somebody in high position, simply, a man who has it all, yet decided to follow Christ constantly amazed my little faith as a small kid in the religion class.
Fast forward to college. I never really started reading Catholic books at the time when I came here to the States. I read mostly protestant books which are mostly fundamentalist charismatic and/or pentecostal author such as Rick Joyner, Tim La Haye, Tommy Tenney, to name a few. Why so? Simply because I didn't have any access to Catholic books AND my perception that Catholic books are boring. My experienced at that time with reading catholic books back home was just that: boring, dull, expressionless, and didn't have any significance whatsoever to the reality of life.
The first book that captivated me was Rome Sweet Home. I remembered reading it in one seating and was amazed on just how well Scott Hahn (the author) describe and answer his struggle with many catholic teaching that I struggled through as well. It was like opening up a new and fresh outlook on myself that, Catholic books weren't so out of touch after all.
The next Catholic book that I read was Confession by St. Augustine. I was nervous at the time whether I would be able to finish reading this book, since my previous experience (as written above) with Catholic books are just that: dull.
Reading the introduction of this excellent work of art was like reading a breath of fresh air to me. It was full of scriptural quotes (showing on just how well he knows psalms!) and the famous quote from him, "For Thou have made us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." I was hooked.
But, I have to admit that reading the rest was quite a challenge. For it was written with a 4th century prose style and I just simply didn't have that much vocabulary at that moment to grasp some of the phrases or words that he wrote.
In short, St. Augustine became my favorite saint!
Another reason why I decided to read St. Augustine writing was also because of Pope Benedict. The Catholic church had just recently elected him as a pope and knowing that Pope Benedict wrote a dissertation on St. Augustine and was entitled, "The People and the House of God in Augustine's Doctrine of the Church", I was curious to know who this St. Augustine guy is.
It was revealed to me gradually who St. Augustine is.
As a little kid, all I know about him, was his story of "tolle, legge" (take and read) and he suddenly became a priest, a bishop, a doctor of the Church, and the father of western civilization.
As I read through "confession", I realized that St. Augustine was a man like us.
He had problems with chastity, money, and power. His famous prayer was, "Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet." In this 21st century, I saw that I am not that different than this man from the 4th century. It brought relieve and hope to my own state of sinfulness.
He was humbled by the mystery of the trinity. Pope Benedict XVI, a great scholar, even put it in his coat of arm (the scallop shell). For me personally, it reminds me that just as much as I wanted to understand the depth of God's wisdom, my whole entire lifespan wouldn't be able to soak it all. I was just a small sponge trying to soak all the entire pacific ocean, as St. Augustine puts it.
As I read through Pope Benedict reflections on St. Augustine, I realized the other aspect of St. Augustine that I never seen before: his later years.
In his later years, he saw the destruction of his own city where he resided as a bishop: Hippo.
From Possidius:
Indeed, that man of God saw the massacres and the destruction of the city; houses in the countryside were pulled down and the inhabitants killed by the enemy or put to flight and dispersed. Private churches belonging to priests and ministers were demolished, sacred virgins and Religious scattered on every side; some died under torture, others were killed by the sword, still others taken prisoner, losing the integrity of their soul and body and even their faith, reduced by their enemies to a long, drawn-out and painful slavery" (Vita, 28, 8).
It reminded me that choosing to live for Christ didn't mean that we will get all the glory and honor here on earth. Instead, living for Christ meant just one thing: the cross. Suffering can not be separated from the idea of becoming a Christian.
Moreover, Pope Benedict wrote it beautifully here:
But there is a last step to Augustine's journey, a third conversion, that brought him every day of his life to ask God for pardon. Initially, he thought that once he was baptized, in the life of communion with Christ, in the sacraments, in the Eucharistic celebration, he would attain the life proposed in the Sermon on the Mount: the perfection donated by Baptism and reconfirmed in the Eucharist. During the last part of his life he understood that what he had concluded at the beginning about the Sermon on the Mount - that is, now that we are Christians, we live this ideal permanently - was mistaken. Only Christ himself truly and completely accomplishes the Sermon on the Mount. We always need to be washed by Christ, who washes our feet, and be renewed by him. We need permanent conversion. Until the end we need this humility that recognizes that we are sinners journeying along, until the Lord gives us his hand definitively and introduces us into eternal life. It was in this final attitude of humility, lived day after day, that Augustine died.
Indeed how much have I learned from this one person, St. Augustine. I definitely have not been able to apply this teaching to my own life perfectly. Alas, off for me to be more like Christ everyday as I remember the feast day of this great saint: St. Augustine.
To read more of Pope Benedict reflections on St. Augustine:
First reflection
Second reflection
Third reflection
Fourth reflection
Fifth reflection
Some of the other quotes attributed to St. Augustine:
We are Easter people, and alleluia is our song
To fall in love with God is the greatest of all romances; To seek Him, the greatest adventure; To find Him the greatest human achievement.
Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all.
And finally, Pope Benedict own reflection:
When I read St Augustine's writings, I do not get the impression that he is a man who died more or less 1,600 years ago; I feel he is like a man of today: a friend, a contemporary who speaks to me, who speaks to us with his fresh and timely faith. In St Augustine who talks to us, talks to me in his writings, we see the everlasting timeliness of his faith; of the faith that comes from Christ, the Eternal Incarnate Word, Son of God and Son of Man. And we can see that this faith is not of the past although it was preached yesterday; it is still timely today, for Christ is truly yesterday, today and for ever. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Thus, St Augustine encourages us to entrust ourselves to this ever-living Christ and in this way find the path of life.
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