On the Pentecost

Yep, it's a week late for me to write the Pentecost reflection, but here you go, here is my reflection:

The Holy Spirit is alive! One of the story on Jeremiah that bear an indelible mark in my heart is the story of him wanting to quit his "prophecy-business".

He said in Jeremiah 20:7, "You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed. All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me."

When I was doing my own "ministry" back in high school and college, there were times when things didn't go as smoothly as I would like it to be. I kept protesting and prayed to God, "This is not what I sign up for God!" I wanted it to be easy, I wanted it to be pleasant, and I wanted an immediate result.

Then Jeremiah said, "Whenever I speak, I must cry out, violence and outrage is my message; The word of the LORD has brought me derision and reproach all the day. I say to myself, I will not mention him, I will speak in his name no more. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it."

When I considered "quitting" as an option, as in, "Why bother doing this whole ministry? Why bother living this Christian life that I live? or even, Why bother believing in God at all?" There would always be that still small voice that said, "Even when a mother forgets her child, I will never forget you." (Isaiah 49:15). Holy Spirit is that still small voice that serves as my guide in the times of trouble.

In the end, it's not about MY ministry, MY life, or MY goals in life. It is all about God and His ministry, His kingdom, His goals that has been prepared for each one of us in our own life.

Going back to this present moment. I realize that I am in my own crossroads right now. I realize that I have grown and I have changed. There are many questions in my mind right now and I do not know who to go to, except to You, O Lord. I hope that I reorient myself, one more time. I felt like the Lord kept reminding me this story on the church of Ephesus where He says, "Yet I hold this against you: you have lost the love you had at first. Realize how far you have fallen. Repent, and do the works you did at first. Otherwise, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent." (Rev. 2:4-5)

Come O Holy Spirit, enkindle my heart with the love that I had at first. Be my guide once more and renew the face of the earth.