Crappy, Happy

So, had my third exam today. One of the worst test I've ever taken in college life.
I guess, kalo mau kasih excuse: my brain at that point was really really saturated, and the ability to absorb more material was really really small.
My test on Monday went alright, know that I can definitely get above the average.
Mock interview on Wednesday went well, the employer apparently kind enough and gave some great insight on my future interview! Thanks!
Exam on Wednesday night was alright, more of guessing, but pretty confident, since have been studying a lot for this.
Exam this night... bad. real bad. Just flipping through the exam, didn't know what to do.
Some great thought from one of the books that I successfully glance through was Hein's Law: "Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back."

So, loving this whole passage from "Theology of The Body for Teens: Discovering God's Plan for Love and Life":

"Live it out: Hope and Healing

Sitting on the steps in front of a church, I pondered if I should actually go in to the adoration chapel. Based upon what I had been doing at a party one hour earlier, I felt like I had no business being there. Yet something was tugging at me. Perhaps it was God calling me toward Him, or maybe it was just the fact that my lifestyle left me feeling so dissatisfied and hollow. Looking back, now I see that it was both.

So, I decided that if I had tried everything else in high school, I might as well try God. I walked into the chapel and knelt before the Blessed Sacrament. There was no flash of lighting or voice from heaven. Actually, I was thinking about the elderly lady sitting in the corner, wondering if she could smell the aroma of pot on me. There was pure silence. I was alone with Him.

At first, it was hard to look up at the Eucharist. I just buried my face in my hands, and debated if I should just leave. I didn't feel like rattling off memorized prayers. So, I just looked up and said, "God, Here I am... in my sin. I'm not hiding anymore. If you want me out of this, I need You to help me." I felt torn between the life I had known for years and a God I hardly knew. His invitation was clear, but my future seemed so uncertain. All He was saying to me was "Let go and trust me."

From that moment, I understood that God does not just want my goodness. He wants the ugly. He doesn't like sin, to be sure, but in order for Him to embrace me and have a relationship with me, He wanted to embrace me exactly as I was, even with all of my faults. For years, I had thought that I would need to become a saint in order for Him to love me. So I always kept Him at a distance.

It is precisely when you feel most torn between God and sin that you need to be still and let Him love you. Only when you understand your value in His eyes will you be able to change. You won't be motivated by shame, guilt, or fear, but because you know you deserve love. Knowing His love for you will give you the motivation to love yourself. Knowing His forgiveness of you will help you forgive yourself.

But if you do not find your worth in how God sees you, where will your value come from? Will you measure your value by what you look like or what people think of you? Will you seek your worth in your athletic ability, your intelligence, or how much money you make? Pope John Paul II said that man has been created "for his own sake." what this means is that your value can not come from what you do or from anything outside of you.

Regardless of your past, God has a plan for your life. You don't need to earn His love. You just need to let Him give it to you. No matter what you have been led to believe, you are lovable. It does not matter where you've been or whawt you've done. All that matters now is where you go from here. "

Crystalina Evert.

So... hope you all like it.

Going to Steubenville, Ohio this weekend. Excited!

Atun